"A book for people who really, really want to believe The Dukes of Hazzard was a documentary."        Jody Carrow, Editor In Chief the Claremont Review

"Huckleberry Finn meets Red Dawn. Comic genius mixed with Southern Charm and downright hooliganism."     Bennett R. Coles, winner of 2013 Cygnus Award for Military Science Fiction

"Nathan Weathington makes a good case for himself as a published writer and exceptional humorist, and I find most of his outspoken observations to be both substantive and relevant to the times. He has stand-up candor, great witty humor and at least a tongue-in-cheek sense of self-deprecation."    Chanticleer Book Reviews

"My husband just read this book for the third time. I’ve never actually seen him read a book. I honestly thought he couldn’t read."    Michelle Goodwine

"The helicopter has crashed in Bremen, Georgia!"     Carol Hogan

"Side splitting laughter. I haven't turned that many pages in a book since college, seriously."     Joel Huggins

"Weathington pumps out cheap morphine chuckles in liberal doses."        Chris Warner Author of A Tailgater’s Guide to SEC Football and Bushwhacked at the Flora-Bama

"Truly one of the funniest books I have ever read in my life. It’s about real boys acting the way boys would act when left to their own devices…and plenty of ammo. Just when you thnk it could not possibly get any more absurd, it does. A very smart enjoyable read."    Kacy Pollak

"Ridiculous far-fetched, hillbilly nonsense. I’ve read it twice, and it just gets better and better. I truly spent the whole book wondering, where the hell were this kid’s parents?!?"    Kristen

"It is wildly fun, definitely destructive and somehow inspiring.This laugh out loud, crooked path of empowerment will inspire you to give your children wings, though certainly not angelic!"        Kelly Denton

"If you ever wondered how frog-gigging, fireworks fetishes, and a willingness to test The Law can produce upstanding, self-reliant guys (with a pretty sharp sense of humor), you'll crush this book in about an hour. If you like your junior memoirs more along the lines of Little Women, go and play around with some fireworks first before buying."     D. Glasson

"It’s hard not to identify with these little punks giving it to the man."    Zackary Black

"A cross between a Norman Rockwell painting and an NRA poster - truly hilarious. Weathington nails it."        Nick

"If you think David Sedaris,Chuck Klosterman, and professional wrestling are funny, you will find this book is hilarious."    Melissa

"Hilarious redneck shenanigans."    Marla

"The Legend of the Weathington Twins still hovers over our little town like the smoke from an enormous accidental forest fire."    CBH

"A guilty pleasure of a read! Coming of age stories that skirt the law and good taste."     Jerome Black

"Look out Foxworthy, this Weathington guy could be the new funniest man in the south."    D.A.B.

"Just the right amount of wrong. Quick-witted, expertly paced comedic memoir."    Geoff

"The funniest thing I've read in a long time. A great story teller. The pace is fast, and the stories are hilarious."        M. Moore

"I'm not sure I've ever read a book where I laughed more out loud than I did this one. It nails what life is like growing up in a small town in the South, and its portraits of the Weathington boys and their fellow hellions makes you feel like a kid again."        J. Roe

"Truly legendary, Weathington’s work raises the bar on how badass boyhood should be as a whole. Definitively sets the standard."     Ben Falk author of The Resilient Farm and Homestead

"Money well spent, however it did make me feel like I failed as a child."        M.I.

"This book kills me. Does that make me a bad person?"    Jaded Musician

"Delinquency at its finest!"    V. Santos

"A rousing, rough-and-tough romp through The Deep South."    Scott Aland

"Hilarious, disturbing and downright naughty!    Ella Lawton “When he smoked my shin with the bat, I knew this was not your normal nine year old.” Mr. Smitherman - Childhood Neighbor

“I always wondered where they got all those watermelons and Christmas trees.” Marilyn Weathington (Mom) 

“I’d like to shoot them in the stomach with a slingshot and see how they like it.” TPer

“I didn’t believe it at first, but it looks like they did indeed invent the upperdecker, or at the very least perfected it.” Preston Rippington (Random Frat boy)

“If they weren’t so damn cute, I reckon somebody would have shot them years ago.” Marla Weathington (sister)

“I can’t believe they egged my wife in broad daylight, and right at the school. I hope they were high.” Mr. Henry (Principal)

“For the record, we did not kick them out of Church. God does not give up on his flock. We might have aggressively encourage them to go fishing, but that’s different.” Revered Brown

“No one had ever been arrested in my class before. It was really exciting.” Mr. Cody (History Teacher)

“I had never cuffed a ten year old.” Chief Stan - Bremen Police Department

“If I ever track yall down, I’m gonna kill you muthafuckers!” Big M (Victim of the Shit Bomb)

“Seriously, who derails a train? I just don’t think that’s normal.” Larry Weathington (Dad) 

“I had never been shot with a pellet gun. That mess really stings.” Sergeant Johnston - Bremen Police Department

Nathan’s Guide to help Women get Laid

Nathan’s Guide to help Women get Laid

A good looking friend here in New Zealand is having a hard time getting booty. I thought she was being facetious, as it seems a woman trying to get laid would be like bobbing for water. However, at her request, I did provide the following guide on how to ‘get-some’. Apparently, it works, several women have asked for a copy.  

At the bar: "Do these pants make me look horny?"

At the bar: "I'm schizophrenic. Want to come home and have a threesome?"

At the bar: "Yeah, I use to be an Olympic gymnast. I was kicked off the team for inappropriate sexual behavior.”

At the bar: "I'm really into soccer players....Oh, you don't play soccer. How about football?...No....What do you do? Oh, dry wall...Well, sheet rock makes me feel randy. 

Use bacon or brownie scented perfume. Do not eat raw oysters; they will indeed make you shit yourself. They are not erotic; it's a myth. As a man who once split a bushel of oysters and a case of Corona with a woman in 105-degree heat, I consider myself a bit of an authority on the subject.

Eat more popsicles in public. Not the ice cream ones, the phallic ice ones. The bigger the better. Weather is not a factor.

At the bar: "It’s been a long time since I had a really good toe cramp."

At the club: "Do you know what a wheelbarrow is?......Great! Will you show me what I'm supposed to do with my legs, I've been practicing at home but it is hard to do it by myself".

At the bar: "Hi, my name is XXX. But my friends call me 'That chic who can suck a mean dick.'"

At the bar: "I'm exhausted. I shaved my whole body today —while riding a horse."

Walk up to the next man you see and say, "Man, I'm hungry. I could really go for some penis right now. Do you know where I could get some?"

Lick your eyebrows.

At the bar: "I'll be the sheep, you be the farmer. Now, I take it we'll need an apple box, which I have in my bedroom. But I don't have gumboots, but I could put stilettos on my hands instead."

Do more splits and backbends at the bar.

 

 

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